Monday, December 28, 2009

divorce and the holidays

In my last post I went over tips to survive Halloween. As the holidays progressed I read more good articles on how to help your kids survive the holidays. Dick Price posted an article entitled "7 Ways to Wreck Your Kids Holidays", and J. Benjamin Stevens posted "Tips to Follow for Holiday Parenting Time". These are great articles, and there are many more like it.

As I read these articles it got me thinking about who the articles were intended for and I noticed a common theme, or lack thereof. What about you? Separated parents can find new gaps in their life that were once filled with sports, dance class and of course the holidays. What to do?

There are many things you can do, but I suggest you take up a hobby. Never had a hobby? Now is the perfect time.

The one that jumps out at me is exercise. I love to exercise. Looking for something more than the standard treadmill on LA Fitness? Try Crossfit. I guarantee it will be the most challenging and rewarding exercise you have ever done. Local to the Dallas, Texas area? Check out Crossfit Deep Ellum. From somewhere else, search Crossfit and your local city.

Like to bike? In Plano, Dallas, or surrounding areas, check out DORBA. Somewhere else, search Mountain Biking and your city.

Not an exercise buff? How about photography or videography? Check out Vimeo and of course YouTube. How about cooking?

The point is, there are many things you can do for yourself to fill in the time once occupied by children's activities. All of us have things that we want to do but could never find the time. Now you have the time. Take care of yourself.


Anonymous said...

can you take away the right for a grandparent to see a grandchild just because you don't want your child around the grandparents

Chris Schmiedeke said...

Anonymous, that depends on whether it is Court ordered or not.

If it is, then you have to ask the court to terminate the visitation. If it is not Court ordered then typically the parent can determine who the child does and does not visit with.

Good Luck.

Anonymous said...

thank you for your help, and its not court ordered for the grandchild to see the grandparents. but can the grandparents take the parents to court to get visitation rights.

Chris Schmiedeke said...

Can they? Yes. Will they prevail? Doubtful. I have posted on this blog a few times about grandparent rights. I think you will be able to find your answers there.

In addition to those posts, the Texas Legislature has made it even more difficult for grandparent by requiring them to file an affidavit with the original suit that a judge will then review and see if they even come close to meeting the grandparent requirements. If they do not, the case will be dismissed.

Anonymous said...

thank you again, i understand that the grandparents can go to court for visitation rights but i don't want my parents to see my son at all because they were abusive physically and mentally while i was growing up and made me move out of my house at the age of 17 with no where to go so i really don't want my son around that. my husband also agrees with me because he has seen some of the things they have done so if i could prove that could i make it to where they could never see him. or can i have our lawyer draw up paper to where they can not see him of is that even possible.

Chris Schmiedeke said...

Anonymous, that is what I am telling you. You do not have to allow the grandparents access to the child at all. You do not need a court order, nothing, just don't let them see the child unless there is a court order saying that they can see the child.

If the grandparents dislike that they can attempt to file a visitation lawsuit which is very difficult to do now, if not impossible, as stated above.

I assume that you live in Texas. If you do not, then you will need to check with a lawyer on your states grandparent rights.

Brenton said...

Hmm, something to think about isn't it. Thanks Chris.

Rizwan ali said...

I understand that grandparents can go to court for visitation rights, but do not want my parents to see my son at all because they were physically and mentally abusive, while I was young and made me leave my house at the age of 17 years with no where to go, so I really do not want my son everything. My husband agrees with me because he has seen some of the things they have done so if I could prove I could get to where he could never see it. link exchange
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mia said...

Hello! i just want to say, i am a grand Mother, who love my grand kids so much....right now the cps have a my grand son(Joshua, 1years old). since the Nov, last years, flu like symptoms through Feb, 2011. but time sicknesses over he was so weak fracture arm and leg. bad thing is each time in and out the Hospital 4 time, 2 time in patient, he does not feel pain much.... no one knows untill x-ray reveal, he had fracture. we all shock to fined out. we been through the Court 4 time already. the san antonio TX Santa rosa Children`s Hospital Dr. note Joshua maybe have a passible CML. the Note was 28, Apr, 2011. 25-26 July the cps toke my grand son to the Dr. have a blood tests done and other X-ray. now 9 Aug, the cps case worker told me, when i called. everything was normal. i dont trust the cps. how i can have a origenal paper work from blood test and X-ray. the cps already fired the origenal Attorney from cps and Joshua`s attorney from the cps. why? i love my grand son so much.....if i thing my daughter abused my grand son i would toke him away from abuse., but my daughter couldn`t even kill the bugs, me or my kid had been molested by before... so me or my daughter is over protacting the my grand son. but couldn`t protact from mistry sickness &illness.....i want my grand son back to my daughter home. i misss him so much....i am a disabled person cause by my p/k/d its strong genetic kidney disease. maybe passible genetic issue is involved on my grand son`s mistry of sickness? no one knows.....please some knows this kind of problem through help me through get my grand son back, because we love him. thank you all. GOD bless you and your familys. <:>< mia

Eric Roy said...

Cases involving children deal with relationships and individuals that are the
most important clients. Attorneys should have the best interests of your children in mind and be prepared to advocate your case with the understanding and experience necessary to protect those whom are most important to you. Excellent article!

Jackson Leavitt said...

I think that the holidays would be a very hard time to go through a divorce. It is already a stressful time of year. Why add on more stress with a divorce? Besides, what kind of present is that to give to other people?

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VanRiperandNies said...

Eric, you're right. Children's interest should come first.